Finding a Way Through: Matteo’s Story
Addiction has been part of Matteo’s life for as long as he can remember.
Growing up, he was around six or seven years old when his brother fell into the harmful use of cocaine. It was never hidden within the family. Instead, they approached it as a united front, rallying around his brother as he agreed to enter a local rehabilitation programme. For years, that meant therapy groups and meetings for all of them.
Despite an early attempt at recovery, and a second one later on, his brother remains in active addiction today. The impact on the family has been immense, and to some extent it continues.
When Matteo moved to the UK at a young age, he found himself partially shielded from the most immediate consequences of his brother’s addiction, and from the emotional burden his parents continued to carry.
But addiction followed him.
In 2015, he lost a close friend in devastating circumstances. The friend had been staying with Matteo for a weekend in London when he went missing for three days. Matteo later found that he had died after using heroin and overdosing. Although Matteo had taken recreational drugs socially during his early years in London, that experience changed everything.
“It marked a turning point. From that moment, I decided I would never take drugs again.”
Matteo
When Everything Fell Apart
It was in Feb 2024 that Matteo’s world was turned upside down in a way he had not seen coming.
After a long time together, he discovered that his partner had been using drugs privately and had fallen into addiction.
“It broke me. We had experienced a couple of difficult years that affected our relationship, but I could never pinpoint the cause, until that moment. I knew about his past recreational use, but had no idea he had continued privately, especially as the social contexts for using had disappeared.”
Matteo
Matteo’s first instinct was to respond with love and a desire to help. He approached the situation with care, hoping to support his partner’s recovery journey. But his partner refused to attend NA meetings, attributing his struggles instead to mental health issues he felt needed addressing first.
Then, in April, came a relapse. Matteo made the painful decision to leave.
“I could not continue allowing drugs to exist in my life. No matter the cost, I could not sacrifice my wellbeing by remaining in a dynamic shaped by addiction.”
Matteo
What happened next came as a surprise. His leaving prompted his partner to sign up for NA and fully commit. Perhaps, Matteo reflects, hitting rock bottom finally made him realise the seriousness of his situation.
Finding the Right Support
With his relationship in pieces and years of accumulated pain to process, Matteo knew he needed help. He had been in therapy for many years already, working through his own personal history, but he understood that what he was facing now required something more specific.
“I knew that I could not process what had happened through therapy alone. I needed a journey specifically focused on healing from the impact of addiction. I also needed to be surrounded by people who genuinely understood these experiences, people who could offer the insight and support my regular friends, despite their love for me, simply could not provide.”
Matteo
He began attending NAR-ANON meetings, which brought an initial sense of relief. He met people with shared struggles, found support, and began to understand more about addiction. It was there that a fellow member suggested he explore Addiction Family Support, believing he might connect with people who shared experiences similar to his own.
“I was hoping to find more support in the form of group therapy, with cross-talking allowed,” Matteo explains. “What was particularly beneficial during the first meetings was being able to relate to different people with different backgrounds and stories. I loved that cross-talking was encouraged, because the thoughts and experiences shared by other group members helped me understand so much more about my own situation.”
Matteo
A Different Kind of Support
At first, Matteo was not entirely sure about the format. Coming from NAR-ANON’s more structured approach, it took a little adjustment. But he quickly realised that Addiction Family Support offered something he had not been able to find elsewhere.
“NAR-ANON and its 12-step work, designed for non-addicts, sometimes made me feel as though I were going through addiction myself, mirroring the steps my ex-partner was working. Addiction Family Support felt more open, less imposed, and truly centred on those affected by someone else’s addiction. The team was extraordinary, and I immediately felt connected to the group.”
Matteo
Through the group, something shifted for Matteo. He began to understand that the harmful actions his partner had taken were rooted in addiction, not in a lack of love or respect for him.
“That realisation freed me from the guilt I had been carrying. It allowed me to reopen a door of communication with him and speak honestly, without diminishing myself. Only then was I able to forgive what had happened and explore the possibility of a new relationship, one defined by boundaries and the foundations necessary for a healthy future.”
Matteo
Rebuilding, Day by Day
Today, Matteo’s partner is back in his life. They share a home again, along with shared responsibilities. His partner is consistent and committed in his own recovery journey, and Matteo witnesses his growth every day.
“Thanks to Addiction Family Support, I feel capable of receiving and recognising that change, with strong boundaries in place. We take things day by day, but in a way that feels positive, grounded, and more meaningful to me than long-term plans ever could. Our relationship is stronger now, more honest, more intentional, despite the vulnerability that comes with healing.”
Matteo
And Matteo’s advice to anyone who finds themselves where he once was is clear and heartfelt.
“Keep going, even when you feel like you are not getting much. Even when you feel better and think you no longer need support, keep going. Addiction is a journey for our loved ones that doesn’t cease when they are in recovery and doing better. It will continue to play a fundamental part of life, and it often leaves damage that needs continuous working.”
Matteo
Looking Back
When asked how he feels now, Matteo’s answer is simple.
“Much better. My partner is in recovery and doing strong.”
Matteo
Addiction Family Support continues to be part of his life, helping him resist old patterns, maintain his boundaries, and move forward with clarity and confidence.
“AFS has taught me structure and strategy at the worst of times. I am grateful to every single member of the group for this support.”
Matteo
